clydes high school
by francina
Summary: it says it all in the title really.
1. Chapter 1

"Come on Clyde, where gunna be late."

"Hey, you're the one who lost my phone."

"Sorry dude. Can we just leave _please_?"

"Ah ha got it."

"Finally dude, lets go." God Craig can be impatient,

"'Kay."

I follow Craig out to the car, Tweek and Kenny are already waiting for us, I can't remember exactly why Kenny started hanging round with us, but to tell the truth I really don't mind he's much nicer to me than token was. Token ditched us when we went to middle school, for a 'cooler' -to use his word- crowd.

"What took you guys so long?" Tweek asked, shaking like always, he doesn't have the random outbursts like he used too but he still shakes like crazy. "Don't want to be late, first day of high school."

As soon as my belts fastened Kenny's brothers extremely beat up car pulls out of my drive, Kenny's brothers pretty cool, he offered to drive us to school so we didn't have to catch the bus, although I do think that Kenny threatening to tell their dad where his Jack Daniels went had something to do with it.

"Lost my phone, and high schools no different from middle school, we'll just be the youngest again."

"Yeah, that sucks." Kenny frowned.

"Hey look on the bright side guys, at least Kyle won't be the smartest guy in the school any more, and the fatass wont have every buttfucker and there bitch wrapped around his little finger." Craig said flipping the bird to an old woman out the window."

"I wouldn't count on it." Kenny replied

"Listen kids, if anyone gives you any trouble, just tell 'em Kenny's a McCormick." Kevin says from the drivers seat, he really sounds like a hick.

"Dude I don't want people knowing that!" Ken complained, he has tried really hard to do well for himself, and not get the same rep as his dad and brother, I admire him for that. I could never do anything like that, mainly because I don't have a mould to break, I'm just Clyde, no trademark like Craig and his finger or Tweek with his coffee.

"it's a good idea though, no one would mess with us." Craig adds.

"not the point dude, I'm not getting a rep like that."

We pull into the parking lot, when I get out of the car and take a look at our new school I'm surprised. It's not like I haven't seen the building before, because I have, it's just it seems different now that it's _my_ school.

"dude come on." Kenny says Craig and Tweek are already by the doors, so I walk with Ken to our first class. I have all my lessons with him, four lessons with Craig and two with Tweek. Which is pretty good going.

"Dude, this is great I have _all_ my classes with you kick ass." Ken says, as the teacher walks through the door, she doesn't look like she's old enough to be a teacher, in fact she doesn't look like a teacher at all.

"hey class, I'm Ms. Jean, and this is my first year teaching, so don't give me a hard time 'kay, because I have no problem handing out detentions." With that I hear Craig whisper;

"What about physical discipline?" he really is a pervert, it was the porn that did it, two years ago Kenny sold Craig his entire porn collection for some extra cash and it's like the perverseness swapped hands too, Kenny said that he just grew out of it, but he hardly laughs at _that_ type of joke anymore, and he hasn't had a girlfriend since then ether, but maybe I'm just thinking too much about it.

All the lessons up until lunch are pretty much the same 'hi-I'll-be-your-teacher' and 'we-will-cover-this-year' kinda stuff, so when Ken and me sit down at the table that Craig's marked as ours for the next four years, I'm relived it's lunch.

"No way Tweek they're so main stream now it hurts."

"Are not, besides you liked their first two albums."

"Yeah, _before_ they went main stream, they're shit now."

"Are not."

"Are too."

"Who're main stream?" I interrupted.

"Don't matter, Tweek just has crap taste in music." Craig replies

"Dude, they're not doing the music thing again are they?" Kenny asks me.

"Yep, everyone knows that 90's rock and real indie bands are the best."

"Damn right." He says as we do the whole high five thing, Craig and Tweek just shake their heads at us, they both have really bad taste in music, Craig's right when he says Tweek likes main stream, but Craig wouldn't be able to choose a decent song if it slapped him across the face.

"So… how's high school?" Craig asks.

"Gay." I state.

"In the most heterosexual way possible." Kenny adds.

"You retards having fun?" I hear from behind me, I know who it is without turning round, only Eric Cartman casts a shadow that big.

"What do you want fat boy?" Craig asks.

"Oh, nothing I just thought that you fags should know your sitting at _my_ table."

"It's not yours. It ours now." Tweek states quietly, but Cartman still hears him.

"AY, up yours, twitchy."

"Listen lard ass, just find another fucking table, and don't walk past any windows, last time you went past my place there wasn't daylight for three days."

"Fuck you poor-boy." And with that he was gone.

Kenny's brother gave us a ride home again, but he drove a different was back so my house was the last stop instead of the first.

"See ya tomorrow Dude." Kenny said as I climbed out of the car.

"Yeah, later." I unlocked the door as they drove off, and walked straight into the kitchen, mom had left me a note;

_Clyde,_  
_you dad and I are working late tonight,_  
_dinner's in the oven heat it up when you get hungry,_  
_don't go to bed too late, hope you had a great first day at school._  
_Love mom x_

All in all today hasn't been half bad. High schools not the hell everyone makes it out to be.


	2. Chapter 2

You wouldn't believe how fast a week goes by, it's Friday already. Man I have shit loads of homework to do, Craig's having a 'study' night tonight so I'll have to do it some other time.

"mom, I'm off to Craig's now, if it gets too late I'll stay over." I call as I reach the front door.

"ok, hun call me if plans change."

"will do."

When I get to Craig's his mom lets me in, I hear a yell of "damn it Tweek how did you get so good at this game?"

"hi, guys." Craig's house is bigger than mine, it has two living rooms, one of for his parents and the other for him and his sister.

"hey dude." Craig replies turning off the video game. "mom 'n' dad are going out and Kenny should get here soon."

"cool." I sat down on the chair, and just like Craig said I heard a call of

"we're going now, don't wreck the house."

"hey where's your sister?"

"at her friends, thank god."

"oh cool." I don't know why but lately I've been feeling a little uncomfortable when Kenny's not around, it's like I'm more comfortable with him than Craig and Tweek, odd right, I just don't feel like I fit in. but as if on queue the door bell rings, I know that it's Kenny.

He comes into the room with a crate of beer in his arms announcing "I have the coolest brother in the world."

"huh?" is pretty much the reaction all round, I'm guessing it has something to do with the large amount of alcohol he's just put down on the table.

"he just stole a whole truck of beer, I mean a _truck_, we're well gunna have money for food now the house is stocked." Kenny beamed handing out cans.

---------------

"DUDE! No way, I'm not doing that." Craig slurred, over half the crate is empty, and we're all pretty pissed. Dares is so much more fun when your drunk.

"your dare dude. Or are you a pussy?"

"I'm no pussy."

"then do it."

"ok, I will." And with that he grabbed the ice pack Tweek had taken from the freezer and shoved it down his pants. "aw, man that's cold."

"ok you can take it out now."

"dude. Never ever freeze your balls." Craig cried taking the ice from his pants and chucking it into the bin. "ok, ok this ones for Kenny. I dare you too… umm… I dare you too… I know I dare you to make out with Clyde." Wait _what?_.

"no, dude that's not funny." I protest.

"yeah man it's just sick." Kenny says downing another beer.

"no it's not, it's payback."

"hey, the ice was Tweek's idea." I say grabbing a drink from the diminishing pile.

"yeah but the hot sauce and the soap were you two."

"whatever dude we're not doing it."

"oh, why not."

"'cos one, I'm not gay, and two nether Clyde."

"yeah."

"you guys are just to pussy. Backing out of a dares what girls do, are you pussy girls? are you to afraid to be man about it? Are you weak?"

"no but we're not gay."

"your weak, dudes, that's what it is." I'm not having that, and I can tell Kenny isn't ether, because as soon as the words have left Craig's mouth, Kenny straddles me, his lips pressing against mine and I kiss back, it turns into a full blown make out session, and I like it, it's a guy, not just a guy but my best friend, it's Kenny for gods sake, but I like it. Maybe it's because I'm drunk., yeah that's probably right, I like making out with Kenny because I'm pissed off my face. After what feels like forever we break apart, I really don't want to but we do. It's then that I notice we've gone from sitting on the sofa to laying on the floor.

"dude, that was like soft porn." Tweek stated.

"can't call that weak Craig." Kenny said smiling sitting up. All Craig can do is stare.

---------------

Ow, my head. It first it takes awhile for me to remember where I am, and the night before. Oh shit, Craig's gunna rip on us for weeks.

"morning." I hear from next to me, It Kenny.i think we drew the short straws in the sleeping arangments because Tweek's splayed across the lazy boy arm chair and Craigs snoring on the sofa.

"dude, you know last night?"

"err, yeah."

"sorry." Huh? Whats he sorry for?

"why?"  
"because Craig's gunna have a field day with this, so it's my apology in advance." Oh.

"well then dude, I'm sorry too."

"cool."

"morning fags."

"what are you on Craig?"

"what am I on? You guys make out with each other, and then hug in your sleep. And I'm on something."

"yeah."

"well at least I'm not on the gay pills you two have been taking."

Man I knew this would happen.


End file.
